Welcome To VegiCow!
VegiCow is an online comic about a Vegetarian Cow named Victor Veganson that is mistakenly turned into a superhero by aliens. Strangely enough these weird aliens were attempting to take over the world by making all farm animals evil. VegiCow has lots of friends and just as many enemies. Victor gets into lots of mischief as he despirately tries to turn all of the meat eaters that visit the farm into Vegetarians. As VegiCow, he kicks a little butt as he attempts to defeat the evil farm animals and find the aliens that caused this big mess. We promise you will laugh until your stomach hurts and your butt will be glued to the seat as you read each VegiCow episode. To top it all off, you can help make VegiCow the best online comic in the world by submitting your VegiCow adventures to us at contactus@vegicow.com. If it’s really good, we will post it and send you a VegiCow T-shirt.
VegiCow Characters
Victor Veganson – Better known as VegiCow. Victor is the main character in the VegiCow comic book series. Victor, is an avid vegetarian that can’t stand the site of anyone else eating meat. He lives on a farm with several farm animal friends. Only his closest friends know that he has a secret identity. They help him keep his identity a secret and also are coconspirators in just about all of his mischievous activities and heroics.
Blue Bell - A perfectly plump pastel blue pig. How she ended up blue, no one knows. She is the nicest pig you ever want to meet. She often attempts to settle disputes between Victor and QT. She is a mother figure to most of the farm animals and often gives great advice that no one seems to listen to.
Puppy – Puppy is another interesting character in the Vegi Cow online comic book series. Puppy is a barking duck. Seems that he was raised by dogs and never learned to quack but perfected the skill of barking and even growling. Puppy is a big gossiper and couldn’t hold a secret to save his life.
Fartner – Fartner is a brown and green bull frog that is Victor’s partner in crime per se. He has a bit of a problem with uncontrollable farting especially when he is nervous or excited.
Gretta - Gretta the Goat is the brains of the operation. She is a scientist that
has a secret lab where she develops new vegetable foods and designs weapons and boobie traps for Vegi Cow and his friends. Yes, she is a bit of a know it all but she is good at what she does.
Pinky – Pinky is a spunky little hen with a country accent that sticks to Victor like stank on a skunk. They call her Pinky because she lays pink
eggs. We suspect it is because she will only drink red cool aid. She carries a
water bottle around her neck constantly, filled with red cool aid of course.
Cutie Pie – Prefers to be called QT. QT is a Pomeranian that is as cute as he is mean. Like most dogs, he is a true meat lover that will do just about anything to stop Victor from turning everyone into vegetarians. He suspects that Victor is Vegi Cow but never seems to be able to prove it.
Wartnart – A whiny alien that looks like booger. He is partly responsible for Victor turning into VegiCow.
Boss - Wartnarts bossy supervisor. He looks like a booger also. His is also
partly responsible for Victor turning into VegiCow.
The Wacko Family – Farmer Wacko and his family live on the farm with this quirky group of animals.
Episode 1 – The Creation Of VegiCow
Butt To The Moon!
That’s how Victor Veganson sleeps every night and tonight was no different. The other animals would not let him sleep in the barn because he snored too loud and way too wierd. WHO SNORES LIKE THAT yells Pinky! Huuuuuuu Woooooooo NotNotNotNot, Huuuuuuu Woooooooo NotNotNotNot. What if I just rip his lips off! Do you think that would stop it? I wish! replied Fartner. Toooot. Toot. Put a plug in it Fartner. I can’t handle his snorin and your fartin too. I can’t help it, dude. His snoring upsets my stomach. I can’t stand it no more! yelled Pinky. Let’s roll his weird snoring behine outta here so we can get some sleep. We gotta big day tomorrow, all the school kids are comin to the farm so we gotta make sure we get up early to set up all the boobie traps in the picnic area. It’s your turn to roll em’ out to the field Gretta. Whaaaat! It can’t be my turn again already. Yep. I rolled em’ out Monday and Blue Bell rolled em’ out Tuesday. Fartner is too lil’ to roll em’ out so, it’s your turn. I hate rolling him out. I sware his tail just creeps me out. That thing has a mind of its own. It moves by itself. Well, if it does, it’s your own stupid fault. You shouldna left radioactive waste was just sitting around in your lab. What! You guys should not have broken into my lab! My lab is for creating new vegetable foods and creating anti meat boobie traps, NOT FOR FOOLIN AROUND! You brainless animals! BRAINLESS! Well if you were so smart you’da created a better lock so we couldn’t sneak in ya’ dumb ol’ lab. Now just shut up and get ta rollin. What Ever! Creek, Creek, Creek. We need to get you a new cot Victor. This thing creeks almost as loud as you snore. Huuuuuuu Woooooooo NotNotNotNot, Huuuuuuu Woooooooo NotNotNotNot. Uhhh, maybe not. Ok, this should be a good spot, right in the middle of the field. Good night Victor.
As all the farm animals slept soundly. Something really weird started to
happen. As Victor’s butt pointed towards the moon, his tail began to twitch, and shake and vibrate and suddenly, ARRRRRRRRH. It turned into a grawling, snarling monster. It howled at the moon in a high pitched tone that not even animals could hear. But, someone or should we say something heard it. That something spoke back.
Boop Beeep Beeep Beeep. Another snarl and a howl came from Victor’s tail. Within minutes, a bright light began to shine down on Victors butt. His tail nodded and swayed as if very pleased to see the bright light. Victor suddenly started to float in midair and then he was lifted higher and higher into the clouds. Still sound asleep, Victor hung upside down.
This is a stupid plan. The supreme idiot really thinks he can take over the world using farm animals! That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. You just do what you are told, Wartnart! This is your tenth job this month and if you get fired from this one, I am kickin you out of the house! But Ma, my friends are gonna think I am some kinda weirdo when they find out my job is injecting farm animal in the butt with some kind of evil juice. Who does that! It’s just nasty and the animals stink. I’ve only injected ten animals and I’m already sick on the Stomoniac. I think I’m gonna Yack! Your friends already think you’re wierd. You are over 2000 years old still living with your ma. Now clean up that fake yack and get back to work. But Maaaaa. Wartnart, if you don’t get to work, I am going to fly down there and kick you in your Astinkle. Huuuu! Fine! Fine! Whatever Ma!
At that moment, Victor starts to wake up. What THE Green Snow Peas is going on here!!! Where am I! He begins to twist and turn. Be still you dumb animal. Is that a needle???? Noooooo! No, No,No,No,No. Victor does not do needles. And what the…. What are you?? You look like something I blew out of my nose yesterday, supersized! Well, you’ve got some nerve insulting me you fat animal thingy. You look like something that fell out of the back end of my pet Zolonof. What! Do you know who I am, I am Victor Veganson and nobody, I mean nothing talks to me like that. You wait until I get down from here, I am going to knock you in your… Wartnart! Who is that? Oh no, that’s my boss. Be still you stupid animal so I can stick you with this evil juice. Evil Juice! Victor starts kickin and twistin and turnin until he kicked the needle out of Wartnarts hand. What’s going on back here, Wartnart? Nothing sir. Just doin my job. Whack! What THE! Did that animal just kick me in my head! Uuuuuu maybe. Give me that needle! Nooooooo! Shouted Victor. Noooooo! shouted Wartnart. Ouuuuuch that hurt! What were you shouting “no” for Wartnart. Sir, that wasn‘t the evil juice. What! What was it? That was the super juice, whispered Wartnart. Whaaat!!
Suddenly Victor felt strong and powerful. With one kick, he broke the chain from his legs. Run! Shouted Wartnart. Wartnart and his boss ran as fast as they could to the front of the ship closing the emergency doors behind them. Victor burst through each door and punched holes into the ship as he chased Wartnart and his boss. Me first, no me first, I’m the boss, who cares, get outta my way. That animal thingy is gonna to kill us. Just as Victor reached his hand out to grab Wartnart by the neck, a floor hatch swung open and Victor fell from the ship. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa Victor screamed kicking his hooves in the air hoping by some miracle he would fly and suddenly, BOOOOOOOM! Victor hit the ground so hard he created a huge crater in the middle of the field. HaHaHaHaHa, no way he could have survived that fall. That fat cow actually thought he could out smart us. Uuuuu boss. I told you, we are the superior beings Wartnart! Booooss! What Wartnart! I think we are about to CRRAAASH!
Episode 2 – Boobie Trapped!
What in the collard green was that, yelled Pinky. Uhhh I would say it’s the sound of something falling 200 feet to the ground creating a giant crater replied Gretta. Dude you’re just weird replied Fartner. Who comes up with junk like that? Why don’t we just go and take a look see, replied Blue Bell. I guess that’s the only way we are going to find out replied, Puppy. Well, what if it’s something scary like a monster or a ghost or something said Fartner, nervously. There’s no such things and ghosts and monsters. Come on scardy cat, yelled Pinky! They left the barn and headed out to the field. Tooot, Toot, Toot. Now that’s just nasty Fartner. Dude, I can’t help it. You know what happens when I get nervous. Well the least you can do is hop behind us so we can’t smell the fonk, replied Pinky. Look at that huge crater in the middle of the field cried Blue Bell. “Booya” I told you so, yelled Gretta! Who’s Weird NOW! I said Who’s Weird NOW! I would like an apology from everyone that said or thought I was weird. Ok, calm down weirdo. I guess you were right, but what could have caused this crater and where is Victor, replied Fartner! Uuuuuuuuuh, uuuuh what happened, my head, my head hurts. VICTOR! What happened to you and why are you crawlin out of that crater. I don’t know, I feel like I was just hit by a bus. Let’s get you back to the barn. Gretta, can you figure out what happened to him? I’ll do my best but I’m no doctor replied Gretta. Well genius, you got two hours to figure it out. Yeah, he has to help us get the boobie traps setup before the kids get here, said Fartner. Toooot, excuse me. Ok, Ok, you two can just take the farting and country talking back into barn and let me handle my business. Whatever weirdo replied Pinky. If I told you once, I told you a thousand times. I don’t talk country! Huuumm ok, lay down right here Victor let’s see what I figure out urged Gretta. Do you remember anything? Not really. Ok, say cud. Cuuuud. Looks ok there. Yeh, I’m tired can we just finish this in the morning? Sure Victor, get some sleep. Thudddd, Huuuuuuu Woooooooo NotNotNotNot. Geeez he falls asleep fast. Two hours later….
Up and at um guys yelled Pinky. We gotta big day ahead of us. Gretta, wake Victor’s sorry butt up so we can get to work. What kinda traps are we workin with today Gretta? Looks like Victor is waking up now. Are you ok Victor. Great! I feel GREAT! Better than I ever felt. Ok guy listen up. The first boobie trap you’ll be working with is the Suckomatic, guaranteed to suck the meat out of any sandwich. Then we have the Pickpocket Swaponater, guaranteed to swipe any meat treat out of a pocket and replace it with a vegi treat. Last but not least the Super Sucker 2000 . Just plant the supersucker under any picnic table and press this button. The Super Sucker will suck all the meat product off the table and replace them with vegimeat. Cool let’s get this party started, dudes. I’ll grab the walkie talkies said Fartner. You and Pinky had better get ready for a good old fashioned butt whippin. No way dude, we’ll be doing the butt whippin around here! Yeah, we owe you and Puppy big time for making us massage your nasty hoofs and walk around in lime green maid uniforms. Well, that’s what happens when you’re the LOSER yelled Victor! Whatever dude, you and Puppy better be on your game today cuz it’s on and poppin. You’ve been hanging around Pinky too much Fartner. On and poppin, how country can you get! Are you callin me country. I ain’t country yelled Pinky! Oh is on! It’s on like kingkong! Bring it on old ladies.
We better hurry and finish setting up, I can see the buses at the bottom of the hill. We’re almost done replied Gretta. Blue Bell, you’re the score keeper. Ok, and I’ll keep an eye out for Cutie Pie too. Hurry up and get in place Victor. The kids are starting to unload cried Fartner. Oh, ok uuuhh Moooo. Look at that stupid cow yelled one of the kids yea I thought cows only had black or brown spots. His spots look like their turning green. Are they talking about me? My spots are black. That kid must be color blind. Oh look over there, yelled another kid, look at the blue pig. Blue Bell rolled in the mud proudly. She loved the attention. Ruff, Ruff, what in the world? Did that duck just bark? Yep, that’s Puppy, replied farmer Wacko. She was raised by dogs, so she barks instead of quacks. Weird, replied the kid. Did that stinky kid just call me weird replied puppy? Yep, I believe he did laughed Pinky. Why I oughta bite his ankles off. Yeah, well if you had any teeth, he might actually be scared. Whatever, replied Puppy.
Beef jerky alert, beef jerky alert, barked Puppy. I got it said Victor. It would be the fat kid. Ya know kids got lotsa nerve replied Pinky. Who stands in front of a cow eatin beef jerky! How would they like it if I stood in front of them eatin a human sandwich! Ssssssssuck! Hey what happened to my beef jerky. Oh there it is. Hmmm taste a little different I must have picked up the kosher beef or something. That’s one point for us. No one can resist Grettas vegi jerky. Yep, ssssssuck and that is the sound of a hot dog being replaced with a vegidog. Booya, that’s one for us too yelled Pinky. One! Only one laughed Victor we sucked the ham out of two ham and cheese sandwiches. Ooops, make that three. Cutie Pie alert, cutie pie alert yelled Blue Bell. Oh and look like he has some kind of contraption with him. See if you can distract him Blue Bell. I’ll try. Hey Cutie Pie. What are you up too? Mind your own business you big slab of bacon. How dare you, you rude little thing replied Blue Bell. I know you are just trying to distract me now where’s that walking, talking T-bone? Victor, Cutie Pie is headed your way and heis armed and dangerous. He just remeated two of your sandwiches. Seems he has new toy he calls the Meatonator 3000. No worries said Victor, we have a nice little surprise set up for him in the barn. Send him my way. Hey Cutie Pie, Victor is in the barn. Thankyou fat blue pig. I will turn that cow into hamburger meat! As soon as the barn door opened, Cutie Pies yelled, I know you’re in there chopped steak now come out with your hooves up. As cutie pie stepped into the barn a bucket of glue dumped on this head, feather shot out of a cannon, lemon juice squired in his eyes, roller skates were slipped on his paws and he was rolled out of the barn in front of all of the kids. What kind of weird animal is that Farmer Wacko. Uhhh, I don’t know, looks like some kinda weird chicken thing. Cutie Pie! yelled Mrs. Wacko. What happened to you? We’re gonna have to shave all your fur off to get that stick stuff out. Arrrrrrrr moaned Cutie Pie. Looks like you don’t have to worry about Cutie Pie anymore. I almost feel sorry for him said Blue Bell sadly. Check this out, yelled Fartner, someone just popped open a can of vienna sausages at the picnic tables. Six in the can, we just took the lead Pinky! No hoof massaging tonight.
Guys, you are not going to believe this! What Victor? Somebody actually ordered Pizza. Who orders a pizza delivery on a farm? It must be a huge order. The pizza guy never delivers out here. Yeah and I can betcha those pizzas are loaded with meat replied Pinky. We gotta beatum to the punch Fartner! Victor took off down the hill followed by Pinky, Fartner and Puppy. Oh, this outta be good laughed Gretta. Watch out Victor! Good try Fartner but that Pizza truck is mine! What in the carrot stick! Whaaaaaaa! Victor yelled as he tripped over a tree trunk and rolled down the hill. He rolled right in front of the pizza truck. Screeeeeeeeech. The pizza driver slammed on breaks and the truck spun around and started to flip over. It flew straight up in the air. Victor! WATCH OUT! Victor looked up and the pizza truck was heading straight for him. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
I’m A Suppa
Smaaaaash! The truck fell right on top of Victor’s head. Oh no! yelled Puppy. Thud! Pinky passed out on the ground. Victor!!!!!! YYYou think he’s ok said Fartner sadly. A pizza truck crashed down on top of his head. Do you really think he is ok yelled Gretta! Suddenly the pizza truck started to rock back and forth. All of a sudden, Whoooo. This thing is kinda heavy yelled Victor. Victor! yelled Puppy. This is impossible replied Gretta. Get up Pinky, gggget up! yelled Fartner. Whaaaat, whaaat. Victor! yelled Pinky as she picked herself up off the ground. Uhhh Dude, do you realize you are holding a truck? said Fartner. Oh yeah, I guess I need to put this down. Looks like the pizza guy is ok other than that big bump on his head.
Dude, that was amazing, how in the world did you lift that trunk asked Fartner. Don’t know, said Victor. This is remarkable. You must have gotten super power some how when you fell out of the sky. Fell out of the sky, there is no proof that happened. That’s just one of your crazy theories. Uhh what about that huge crater over there with an imprint of your face replied Gretta. Ok, ok, maybe you have a point but since when does falling from the sky give you super powers? We will need to do some research to try and figure out what happened.
Foget that said Pinky. I wanna see what other suppa powers Victor’s got. Do ya thank you can fly? Uhh no, I don’t think I can fly. Of course, I didn’t think I could lift a truck either. Why don’t cha try jumpin outta that tree ova there and see if you take of flying? Are you crazy! I am not jumping out of any tree. Well Victor, it is logical to believe if you have one super power, you may have another replied Gretta. How about we build a giant sling shot and shoot you across the field, then we will really know if you could fly, said Puppy. Have you lost your flippin mind Puppy! I’m not jumping out of any tree or getting in any giant sling shot. As far as we know, me catching that truck could have just been a fluke.
Who is that standing over there at the end of the field asked Fartner. Looks kind of like Bart the Bull from the farm down the road. Uhhh, he looks a little angry. Nah, Bart is a nice dude. Hey Bart. Grunt, Grunt, Grunt! Uh, maybe he is not is such a good mood today. He’s fine, I’ll go over and talk to him said Victor. Uh looks like you don’t need to go talk to him said Fartner. He is coming over really, really fast with his horn point at your face. Watch out Victor! Victor rolled out of the way. Hey Bart, it’s me Victor. I don’t think he recognizes you Victor. He looks like he is under some kind of spell and his eyes are all red. Here he comes again. Ok, I’ve got a little something for him this time. Victor grabbed him by the horns and swung around and around. When he let go, Bart flew all the way across the field. OOOK replied Pinky, that’s what um talkin bout. I knew them suppa powers weren’t just a fluke. He’s comin back again Victor. Oh, you didn’t get enough huh. Try this butt smash on for size. Victor jumped up in the air and just as Bart approached and smashed him into the ground with is huge cow butt. BooooYah!